Enhancing Oral Sex with Toys: a Guide to Intimate Sensual Play
When it comes to oral sex, we don’t always think about using toys. I mean, giving and receiving head is pretty straightforward, right?
That can be true, but when it comes to sex there’s always room for new sensations, experimentations, and improvements. Even if your head game is perfect, you and your partner could always pick up a few new tricks.
That’s where toys come in. Using toys for oral sex can seem odd or confusing at first, so here’s a comprehensive guide on how to get started.
WHY USE TOYS FOR ORAL SEX?
If your oral sex life is already amazing, then there’s no real risk in trying something new. If you want to make it better, then toys might exactly what you need. We give oral sex to our partners, on average, about 5 times a month. It’s natural for any routine sexual activity to get stale over time - that’s where toys come in.
Whether you have a penis or a vagina, toys can take your pleasure to the next level by stimulating multiple areas at once or adding vibration to the experience. If your partner has a vulva, you can use a toy to penetrate them while you use your tongue on their clitoris. If your partner has a penis, you can use a light vibrator on their perineum (the area between the anus and the testicles) to excite them while you suck.
These are only a couple of examples; the possibilities are endless. Often, though, it’s about stimulating multiple areas at a time so that your partner has easier, wilder, and more powerful orgasms.
Toys can also make foreplay steamy and erotic. Teasing your partner’s nipples or stroking their legs with a fluttering vibrator can build an anticipation that kicks your libido into overdrive.
CHOOSING A TOY (OR TWO)
When choosing a toy, think about what you and your partner want to feel during oral sex. Communication is important here. You might love the idea of blindfolding your partner while you go down on them, but it’s something you need to run by them first.
Do you want to be penetrated and orally pleased at the same time? In that case, you might want a curved vibrator to hit your G-spot just right (and give your partner’s fingers a break) while they go down on you.
If your partner has a prostate and is comfortable with penetration, then using a prostate massager while you suck them off will give them earth-shattering orgasms. Even something as simple as using a finger vibrator on their perineum or nipples will make them feel incredible.
If your partner has a penis (and is very well-endowed) then you might want to check out a blowjob helper. These wrap around the base of the penis and stimulate it, which is helpful if you can’t reach that far or just want to use your mouth in other ways. A cock ring can help your partner keep a longer and harder erection during and after oral sex. If the cock ring vibrates, such as our Mio, then it stimulates the base of the penis and your clitoris during penetrative sex.
Having some level of anal play can complement oral pleasure, even if it’s something as simple as a butt plug or anal beads. You don’t necessarily have to do anything with them; for some of us, oral sex just feels better when we have an anal toy inserted.
You don’t have to break the bank on sex toys, but make sure you buy something that’s durable and made of a nonporous material, like stainless steel or silicone, so it won’t trap bacteria. And, of course, make sure your partner is on board with it before you buy a toy you want to use with them.
ORAL TOY TIPS
When it comes to any sex toy, hygiene is imperative. It’s usually safe to wash your toys with soap and warm water, and you should do so after every use. When they’re washed, let them dry in an open space. Of course, not every sex toy is the same, so make sure you follow any specific cleaning instructions from the manufacturer.
Silicone toys are easier to sanitize and less likely to be damaged by cleaning. They’re also more durable and last longer, so you’ll get your money’s worth. If you’re into temperature play, you can also heat or freeze stainless steel toys before insertion.
Lubricant makes everything better, and you should have some nearby whenever you have sex. Buy lube in small amounts at first - or get free samples - to make sure it won’t irritate your skin or cause an allergic reaction.
You should also make sure that any lube you use is compatible with your toys. Water-based lubricants are the safest choice since they won’t damage your sex toys, are easier to clean up, and are less likely to irritate your skin. They can be messy, though, so you should have a towel near your bed (or wherever you get it on) that you can set your lube and sex toys on when you aren’t using them.
The point of toys - even adult toys - is to be fun, so don’t overthink it! Buy something that excites you and experiment with it safely. You might just find yourself enjoying oral sex even more than you did before.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Dr. Aliyah Moore (she/her)Dr. Aliyah Moore (she/her) is a certified sex therapist, writer, and sexpert at SexualAlpha. She’s passionate about educating and empowering women to embrace their sexuality and identity. Read more about her story and experience on her website: AliyahMoore.com